There are three ways to spread news: telegram, television, and tellawoman.
A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant.
Before someone gets their driver’s license they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.
When at a loss how to go on, cough.
If a woman driver ahead of you signals a left turn, be careful, she may turn left.
Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat with two termites.
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